Seeking authenticity in the second half of life- revealing the true self

Revealing The True Self

Seeking authenticity in the second half of life

A major life event can be the trigger to knock the wind out of our sails. We may ask ourselves, as I did, “What’s next?” or “Is this all there is?” This introspection is the beginning of a journey on what I call the Midlife Bridge to reveal the true self.

When significant life events occur, they can become triggers that result in a self-introspection. We find ourselves looking inward and judging whether we are happy with who we are. For many, it may be a moment for a private realization in which we feel we have come up short and have compromised ourselves in choice of career, spouse, or our own values and desires. This can be a thought or conclusion that can be self-detrimental because midlife is an important time and stage of life.

The journey across the “Midlife Bridge” neither starts with a jolt nor ends abruptly. It weaves into your life and sails out, sometimes without one being aware of the beginning or end of midlife happening. Three eminent psychologists, among many, have addressed the second half of life and they are Carl Jung, Erik Erikson, and Daniel Levinson. These three psychologists and others, all framed midlife as a period of difficult choices and challenges. In effect, it is the crossover point of one’s life journey. There is no consensus on when midlife passage occurs, which validates why I believe, it is stage-based.

During midlife many people find themselves caring for both children and aging parents while juggling their careers with these responsibilities. As a result, it is not uncommon to experience a lot of stress and an “expectations gap” that can develop in midlife when we may feel that we didn’t measure up to the goals of our youth. However, as we age, we become more realistic about goals and more satisfied with what we achieve. By the time we reach our 60s, we are more inclined to live in the present and focus on our personal relationships and less on success as measured by society and peers. One’s satisfaction with life is driven by unmet aspirations that are painfully felt during midlife but are gladly discarded and felt with less regret in our 60s, 70s, and beyond.

Therefore, by selecting to focus on gaining greater purpose in our lives and placing relationships at the forefront of our lives as careers recede, these steps become integral to a life reinvention. Anyone can work to become the person they have always wanted to be, or in other words, be authentic to one’s true self. That is not to say it’s easy work; however, it would be interesting to contemplate a society that allows people to be valued because of who they are, not judged by how old they are.

Carl Jung believed that it is the unfolding of the self that can facilitate a midlife reinvention, as he believed that midlife distress (such as the three challenges highlighted earlier) is an unpleasant but healthy and essential step for psychological growth. Jung further believed that the gift of life’s second half is the awakening and symbolic transformation associated with the death of our youthful self and the awakening of the soul. It is this powerful recognition that occurs during a self-introspection in one’s midlife that causes someone to recognize the challenges and commence dealing with them. By letting go of one’s youth and looking within, thus begins the journey to reveal the true self.

Author Bio

Andrew S. Kane has spent decades successfully mentoring, managing and motivating team members and employees. He is known as an empathic but active listener, a critical thinker and is sought out as a trusted advisor and an eloquent speaker. He an author of Three Bridges- Adulthood is Easy until Life Intervenes
Visit www.andrewskane.com
Connect Andrew S. Kane